Friday, May 18, 2007

Smite, Smote, Smottled



7:05. A.M. That was the time I heard the sound of the gas-powered leaf blower. The earliest time to date. When you've been having trouble sleeping for a few days and finally drift off a little after 3, the last thing you want to hear is the grinding whine of a two-stroke engine right outside your window. Well, maybe in the top ten, in the general vicinity of Mariah Carey in a yodelling competition.

In other news, I've been dabbling in alchemy. No, not because I've got gold fever, or even Saturday Night Fever. (Though I did wear the suit once.) It's because some of our plants have a bit of an infestation. They're impatiens. So I had to hurry. (Ba-bing!) It turns out that the infestees, spider mites, don't like garlic or hot pepper. Since we live in Arizona, it's a state law to have both on hand. Not literally, of course, but in the kitchen. So the little buggers have been subjected to "Wontar's Mist O' Delicious Death" for two days now. I think it's working, but it's still too early to tell. All I can say for sure is that the balcony smells fantastic.

If it works, I may fill a few water balloons with the stuff and chuck them at the maintenance monkey the next time he wakes me up with that damnable leaf blower.

4 comments:

Dzeni said...

Sorry to hear about your inconsiderate neighbour! Leaf blowers are evil. Especially early in the morning. Having said that, your post made me laugh and I'm glad you have managed to keep your sense of humour.

gwen said...

You signed it in Zapfino just for me, didn't you, you little minx!

Wontar said...

Thanks Dzeni. Sleep deprivation doesn't adversely impact my sense of humor, though it does provide some nifty hallucinations! :)

Sorry Gwen. I'll sign the next one in Comic Sans instead. ;P

sam said...

Are you sure "smottled" is a word? Or is this an introduction to the Wontarian Lexicon?

Oh, and you should try drawing little diagrams on the ground, then clapping your white-gloved hands together. That ALWAYS works for Edward Elric.