Thursday, November 25, 2004

It's always nice to know you're not alone when you have an unpopular view on a subject. With that in mind, I give mad props to this Brit homeslice, yo.

For whatever my mad props are worth, you've got them. Good luck getting coffee with them.
Another e-mail from Amazon. This one touting the upcoming release of Star Trek Voyager, Season Six. Here's the quote:

"the U.S.S. Voyager, as it is led by Capitan Kathryn Janeway (Mulgrew) on missions into deep space."

Viva El Capitan! Los Voyageros del Trekos Staros, or something.

I still can't stand it.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Rather than talk about all the work shit, here's something else...

I received an e-mail from the other day, touting the upcoming thrill-a-minute movie "National Treasure". There was a typo in the blurb about the picture. A typo. From Amazon. Amazon, as you may recall, started off their empire by selling books. Just books. Many of those books had words in them. Anyone getting me on this one? Not like a "who's/whose" kind of thing either. It was a word that any decent word processing application would have underlined, highlighted, flagged, whatever. But off it went all the same. Here's the offending fragment:

"steal the most revered, closely guarded document in American history before it falls into the wrong hands, and deciper the clues that will unlock this 2,000 year-old mystery."

So, I e-mailed them back. Showed them the error of their ways. I had to.
So far, all I've received in response is an auto-mailer thing. I don't expect a response, and I certainly don't expect a corrected version to be mailed out to the masses. I guess I really just can't get enough of banging my head against a wall.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Work is officially making me feel physically ill. Probably mentally ill too. Just not as easy to notice the symptoms of that one. I'm fast approaching my 13th year of the IRS. A job that was supposed to be something to tide me over until I got a "real" job. Well, the job itself is real. The majority of the people there, however, are turning into a nightmare. I don't know for how much longer I'm going to be able to tolerate it there. A lot of stuff is going on, and I find that I don't have it in me any more to put up with it. I can't stand the whining, I can't stand the people who steadfastly refuse to work, I can't stand the "upper management" continuing ignorance of the aforementioned, and thinking people who are like-minded to myself have something wrong with them for feeling bad about being there. These are your tax dollars, people. They're being wasted by the millions on a daily basis by people who you wouldn't want fixing your McMeal at a McBurger joint. In fact, in many cases, the McBurger joint would be closed due to health code violations if any of these mutants saw the light of day. And of course, most of the burgers would have bits of sponge, or perhaps a mop, or a hat, or something equally unmentionable in it. Why? Because, quite simply: "it's not mine, so I don't care".

Well, I can't do that. I can't keep banging my head against the proverbial wall any longer. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and very, very tired. If there are any people out there who need someone with a severly logical mind who just saved the IRS $7 million and didn't get squat for it, please send me an e-mail. I'll do what I can to save you $7 million too. Hell, maybe even more if you bother to say "thank you" to me once in a while. Or even once. (Yes, I'm *that* beaten down.)

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Weathermen, by definition, are idiots. But our local weatherman took the cake the other morning. It was a windy day, and he alerted the early-morning drivers to not only "keep both hands on the steering wheel" because of the "gusts" of 35 miles an hour (psh!), but he also said with dread earnestness: "Watch out for leaves!" Leaves? If the leaves were whipping around in tornadic winds of mach 3 or something, then yes, leaves would be quite deadly and should be avoided. But if you're scared of leaves blowing around when it's Autumn, you may want to consider moving to a desert or a snowy tundra. What about those motes of dust whipping around in the wind? Shouldn't we watch out for those? If a high-speed dust particle lands on your eye, you could just swerve right off the road and into a ravine or something. Or slam head-first into a busload of nuns. Damnable dust! A leaf blowing around might... um... brush against the windshield of your car. Think of the high cost of Windex! Damn you leaves! Nature's compost my ass!

Stupid weathermen.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Well. That proves my theory. The country is populated with idiots. Bush won. How? How can there be so many people who believe that he's doing a good job? I read something that really explains it all too well, at least in my twisted little version of reality. The good ol' fashioned common man understands Bush. He's a bumbling, stupid puppet, but they understand him. Great. They understand him, which scares me, because idiots understand idiocy. Bet they read all about him on them there internets. He must gots that book-learnin', cuz he knows 'bout new-kewler weapons. They're new, they're kewl, so they must be good! An' he talks like my favorite NASCAR driver. What more could one want in a leader? I'm sure he just had that thing in his ear during the debates so he could listen to some knee-slappin country music during the boring parts. Nobody was feeding him dialogue. 'Course not. That would mean that the President is just a figurehead being controlled by someone else. That couldn't happen. I mean, I'm sure his thoughts are his own. Because right after that Saudi Arabian guy got his nutjob followers to destroy the Twin Towers, Bush got right out there and sent our troops to Iraq. Maybe he just sucks at geography, or has a shitty short-term memory and couldn't remember one sandy country from another. I guess we're lucky he didn't just go bomb the crap out of New Mexico.

CNN had a really interesting breakdown of who voted, categorized by all manner of different factors. Really USA Today-worthy statistical data, but just interesting as to how people look at this from all angles. If you were to look at it that way, you do see patterns. If you look at it upside-down, you see a puppy. Voters turned out in record numbers, which is great. The fact that they turned out in record numbers just so that this nonsense can be perpetuated for another four years... it makes me ill. Maybe they think it's like a reality game show. How high can the deficit go? Let's find out! Let's give him a chance to fix his mistakes. (Heard this one and it stunned me.) Voting for someone does not signify to him/her that you want to give him the chance to fix his mistakes! Voting means you approve of what's gone on so far, and want to see more of it!

Good lord everyone... between the state of affairs at the IRS, and now the state of the country, you may find my website changing from ".com" to ".ca". Canada, with your colder climate and friendly nature, you may find yourself a new citizen.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Went to Atlantic City over the weekend. The fact that I'm going back to work tomorrow should tell you how well we did. The trip did have its highlights, though. We stayed at the Borgata, which is now our hotel of choice. Very, very nice. Has a nice "Las Vegas" feel to it, and not an "Atlantic City" feel to it. If you've been to both places, you know what I mean. If you haven't been to both places, what the hell is wrong with you? Vegas kicks ass!

Some of the enjoyable moments came in the form of paged announcements at the hotel. I don't know if these were real people being paged, or if the employees were feeling particularly bored that evening. (It was All Hallow's Eve, so they may have been tricking.) (Yo.) They sounded legit, though. One of the names sounded all too much like "Ollie Oxenfree", which is worth several hours of laughing right there. "Paging Mr. Oxenfree, Mr. Ollie Oxenfree. Your party cannot locate you." There was also someone whose name sounded like "Hockeyleague". And any time someone pages "Wing Wu", well that's just pure comedy.

We voted today. (He says, changing topics.) I'm a registered Republican who voted for Kerry. So there. I'm not going to go into a big political speech about how I feel, but in case you were curious you now know. (For the single-digit masses of people who read these things I type.)