Fresh from the shower, I went outside today to drop off some outgoing mail at the office. The office is roughly 300 feet away from our front door, if that far. I went down the front stairs, through the gate in the security fence, and was halfway to my destination when three things happened in short succession: I heard a bird up in the trees, I felt something warm on my head, and a brown streak obscured my vision.
Yes, a bird shit on my head. Not only my head, but my glasses, shirt, and jeans. I took my glasses off, because despite my years of government service I have difficulty seeing through shit. This turned my world into a big smudge, because I'm nearsighted as all get-out. I made my way back through the gate (after trying to unlock it with the wrong key) and back into the apartment. The clothes came off and were immediately run under water, my glasses were blasted with water that was hot by Arizona standards, and I had my second shower of the day. My second shower of the hour, really.
I went back out and managed to make my delivery without incident. Deb got a good laugh out of it, so that makes it all worthwhile.
Tomorrow, though, we're having squab for dinner.