Thursday, October 13, 2005

Now I Do Count The Clock That Tells The Time...

I love this picture. Not just because of the person in the foreground, but because it evokes such a positive mood. One that quite adequately represents how we both feel since leaving New York. Calm, relaxed, reflective. Even at peace, if you ignore our minor rants now and then. (Hey, you can take the New Yorker out of New York...) We miss our friends and family, but we do not miss working at a place we hated so we could afford to live there so we could keep working and feeling physically ill and sleepless the whole time to boot. What a bonus! The whole time we were working, we were denying ourselves the moments and experiences depicted in this picture. Living to work isn't living at all. I'd hesitate to even call it existing.

I woke up with a headache and nosebleed this morning. Chalk it up to the extra-dry weather. (Sorry friends and family in the soggy east coast!) But it just reminded me that this is how I felt every single day not so long ago, and I just accepted it. No, thank you. Never again. I'll sell both kidneys and whatever other organs it takes if that's what's required to keep us from being used and abused again. I will not be the one who solves the problems and writes the pretty words so the boss' boss' boss can get the credit ever, ever again. I will not help any organization that treats the people who do all the work with such obscene apathy and ignorance, and heaps rewards upon those who are stil trying to master the art of blinking and breathing concurrently.

It's been six months since I left that place. I feel so much better, because I finally feel alive. The fact that the person in the picture is with me certainly adds to the experience. To my friends who are still there, I fervently wish that you find a better place than that. Because you deserve to be happy, not miserable and chewed up.

If you'll excuse me, I want to go look at the stars with Stargazer...

2 comments:

Sam said...

It looks like a beautiful place, Wontar! I'm happy for you, and maybe just a little bit envious.

Not to be a downer, but have you had your blood pressure checked? Massive nosebleeds got me diagnosed when I was a kid. Scary stuff. I hope it's just the weather, in your case.

Wontar said...

Thanks Sam! It certainly is a beautiful place. Can't wait to go back there.

As for my blood pressure, no worries there. It's always been in the "normal" range. Not the high side of normal, but normal. My nose just... does that. It's been through a lot. When it's really, really dry... well, let me put it this way: when my wife and I went to Las Vegas the first time, I had to buy an unexpected souvenir of a T-shirt. Why? I went into the bathroom at Circus Circus to blow my nose, and came out looking like I'd just been in a fight. (Had to throw the old shirt away.)

In any event, your concern is appreciated. I'm ok, but just a little weird.