How To Be An Idiot

It's really quite easy. First, leave the house and go to lunch. Then, decide you're going to head out to the Saguaro National Park. (Don't bring a map, because it'll spoil the fun.) Drive the wrong way, then turn around and drive the right way. Get to the park, but since you're driving on the paved road, you're just zooming through it like the locals do. (And making them angry, because you're doing the speed limit.) Turn around again, and head off on the first dirt road you see. You'll see some amazing stuff, like this:

However, you'll be on a dirt road that has a laughable 25 MPH speed limit. Laughable, because if you actually went that fast, your car would tear itself apart. So, you're cruising along at a good 5 MPH, and the sign you passed 15 minutes ago pointed you towards a visitor's center. After another 20 minutes and no visitor's center, you begin to question your intelligence. Mainly because it's the early afternoon, it's 109 F (or more), and you have no water. Not even a hat to cover your incredibly bald head. And you're driving along a road that could be used as a washboard, if washboards had rocks on it. Oh, and if there was ever any water anywhere ever ever ever.

After another 20 minutes or so, we finally found another road. Paved! Another ten minutes of driving at a whopping 35-40, and the visitor's center appeared like a mirage on the horizon. We got water, I got a hat, and we went on our merry way.

The park is absolutely amazing. Even when we were in mortal terror fearing death by dehydration, it was amazing. We'll definitely go back. I'll be sure to bring my hat. And 16 gallons of water.