Friday, August 05, 2005

Stocks! In the Name of Love...

Day two of the STAR Trader thing was even more informative than the first. It was also the day that they finally did their little reveal of the prices of the more advanced classes. I think it's safe to say that the simple fact that neither of us screamed, laughed uncontrollably, or just fell out of our chairs is testament to the fact that we are both professional people. I'm not going to quote prices, but rather I'll use analogies to describe these gems. The cost of their software alone (for a whopping six months, mind you) could buy you two or three top of the line computer systems. With monitors. Not kidding. Their most expensive package o' classes, which included that nifty software, was about half of my former annual salary. Gross. (Yes, before taxes. And again, I'm not kidding.) There were about eight different packages, but those two bookend the price ranges offered.

Now, I don't consider myself cheap. I'm sure there are those who would disagree with me, but I don't care. I think many of you will agree with me when I say that if I'm going to give someone money with that many zeroes on it, you damn well better worship me, peel me grapes, and throw rose petals at my feet. And I get to beat the crap out of you whenever I feel like it. I do not expect to pay that much money to sit in a room with 49 other people who have difficulty with some of the, shall we say, more basic aspects of education? (Case in point: more than one person today had a problem following the alphabet. English. You know, the one with the song? Yeah.) We also learned today that the people in the room wanted to retire at 65, and live for 30 years afterwards. I think that the fact that 1/3 of the people in the room are 94 1/2 had a lot to do with that strange demographic hiccup. 95 is a speed, not an age. If you want to be that old, then there's something seriously wrong with you.

So, needless to say, we're not going to sign up for any additional classes. If it was a tenth as much, then we'd probably do it. The classes are really quite good. It's a bit discouraging to learn that two out of three instructors borrowed the money to take these advanced courses from Mommy and Daddy, though. (Damn kids.) We're going back tomorrow. Just because. We paid for three days, we'll get as much out of it as we can. I'm just not keen on selling a kidney to learn more. (Not my own, anyway.)

No comments: